By Rebecca Villegas
As a child, I found satisfaction in helping in any way I possibly could. I was my mother’s little helper and I followed her everywhere.
Initially, I swore up and down I would become a veterinarian because I was obsessed with animals and wanted to help them. That dream quickly dissolved, but the feeling of wanting to support someone still stayed with me.
Writing as a childhood companion
At the age of ten, my mother lost her battle with cancer, leaving me to be raised by my then-widowed father and my two older brothers.
We joke about how Latino men have this machismo and, because of that, feelings don’t exist in the brown community. However, that machismo is very real. Though I love my father and appreciate how much he sacrificed for us as a single parent, I found that it wasn’t just my mother’s absence I felt—it was also the emotional absence of my father.
I turned to writing the most. Whenever I couldn’t express myself to him or others, I kept everything in my diaries. Though writing was a savior for me, I later realized that, in hindsight, I struggled to talk about my feelings in person or out loud.
Around the age of seventeen, I remember struggling with my mental health and still couldn’t truly articulate what was going on in my head. It was the first time I recall having suicidal thoughts because all these emotions I had built up inside, I couldn’t grasp, let alone speak about them. I was so used to shutting things out and keeping everything bottled in.
Discovering my path in college
When I entered college, I was introduced to the subjects of family, consumer sciences, and psychology. I took an interest in learning about the brain and about people. Knowing that I had this deep desire to help others, this felt like the perfect direction to pursue. I looked more into different careers that aligned with these interests and was introduced to sociology and social work.
I decided to move forward, taking a leap and picking up a sociology major with a minor in social work. I remember the very first class I took in social work, I was sold. I didn’t think twice about what I wanted. I remember feeling a sense of satisfaction because learning about people allowed me to take a better look at myself.
From that moment, I knew I wanted to pursue higher education and return to school for my master’s in social work, so I did.
A personal mental health crisis
Simultaneously, I was experiencing other challenges in my life that led to my mental health taking another dip. At the age of twenty-four, I attempted suicide. I spent that year in and out of treatment, and it was a reality check for me: I was in school to help others, yet I couldn’t even help myself.
That realization fueled a hunger in me to understand myself more and to help people like me—those who struggled so heavily with just being okay. In a strange way, I felt like I was where I needed to be, even though I wasn’t completely put together. I figured:
I know what rock bottom feels like, and maybe I can use my own experiences to uplift others and normalize the challenges that come when mental health is disrupted.
Leaning on yourself and those who lift you
I had solid supporters who checked in on me and comforted me in a way that made me realize how crucial a support system is.
A lot of people believe the inner work needs to be done alone, and while that is true to some extent, as no one is going to pick you up the way you will pick yourself up, there is still an underlying factor that contributes to healing, and that is having a village behind you.
It is having people in your corner who want to understand you, stand with you, believe in you, love on you, and just simply care for you. They say it takes a village, and I believe that. I believe in the impact of empowerment and having people you can count on or look up to.
I wouldn’t be the therapist I am today if it wasn’t for the individuals who have sharpened me to believe in myself and who have loved me enough to help me put my broken pieces back together.
About the Author:
Rebecca Villegas, LCSW
Rebecca is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with a passion for helping individuals better understand themselves and navigate life’s challenges.
With eight years of experience in mental health, she specializes in depression, anxiety, mood disorders, trauma-informed care, grief work, and more.